Post 50! On What I Have Learned About Being A Mom

This is my 50th post on Mullet Mom! When I started this blog I wondered how long it would take me to get to 50. Here it is, 3 years and two cities later. I made it this far as a mom of an almost 4-year-old.  I look at my Sweetpea, she is my very intelligent, cuddly, artist, sassy, fashion preschooler.

Mary Cassatt

 When I started writing this blog she wasn't eating solid foods. I was navigating the waters of new parenting, celebrating the moments when my arms were full of baby, and being so happy to put that little, squishy, treasure down and get my head back into my own creativity. I did not know where I would end up living or how I could manage having a job and parenting. I was trying so hard to adapt the person I knew I was with the role of being a parent. I am still figuring this out but it’s not nearly as intense. The two selves have melded together for the most part, the happy parent and the happy person I have always been.

Mary Cassatt

Life brought me to this point and I know I will just continue growing from here, one blog post at a time. After 50 posts here are some thoughts on what I have learned, so far, about being a mom. I look forward to reviewing this on post 100!

-The most important thing I have to offer as a parent is good, thoughtful, listening, acknowledging and owning my mistakes and staying really close with her. If I stick with this mantra I know we can accomplish anything together.

-Being my daughter’s biggest fan. I got this from my parents. Even when I was being bullied as a child I had a deep sense of my own importance in this world.  I owe that to their thoughtful encouragement. I know they have my back and will always think what I create is remarkable.

-Everything seems to be a phase. Just as I am getting used to how she is, she will change. Some parts of the phase are difficult, like I guess we are not done with tantrums yet. Others are pure pleasure; wow she can unstrap her own seat belt and put on her own shoes!

-Constant flexibility is essential to equal Librium.  I have to question my assumptions daily in my interactions with her and find the balance of setting a boundary when I see fit. I can forgive myself for being harsh or irritated when I do it and I can also be straightforward in guiding her in the right direction.

-Deciding to love being a parent. All the joy, hardship and connection I get from being with my little one is worth it.  Knowing I will have this relationship for years to come and it will morph and grow. There is someone in my life that worships my tummy that hangs on my every word that wants to engage with me from sun up to sun down and all through the night if she had it her way. I use the tv show “The Gilmore Girls” as an example of how moms and daughters get to grow together and cheer each other on. I hope I will get to be as close to my daughter through out our lives.

Mary Cassatt

 

-When I listen to her and follow her around I get to see life through her eyes. What a gift this is! She has all these ideas about the world and moments of whimsy I get to delight with her in. Listening to her tell me what she thinks is one of my favorite things about parenting

-Sweetpea wants me to be myself and pursue my passions so I am not distracted when I spend time with her. I can be in the pure “being” present when I know some of my needs have been met and now I get to share myself with her. Artist hours, self dates, naps and adult time make for a happy, present, mom who is ready to play.

-It really does take a whole village. I delight so much in seeing her connection with her Cece (G-mom) and Daddy on a daily basis. I get to be her world and so do they in a big way. I want to have even more familial and friendship connections that bring her into contact with lots of people that can adore her mind and spirit as much as I do. She is starting to build that community at preschool and with friends. I am so pleased to watch her circle of connection grow. Knowing she gets to have lots of people.

Mary Cassatt

 

This is dedicated to all you amazing parents. I am in awe of all you manage to do. This is also dedicated to all you lovers of parents. Some of my biggest fans are just my dear friends and allies in this project of raising a young person in our scary and wonderful world.