Consuming Less Plastic as a Family

Part of caring for the planet and setting a good example for the little ones in my life is noticing how much our daily choices impact the greater good. This does not mean living under a microscope analyzing your every move but taking a moment to access whether your lifestyle choices are contributing to environmental degradation or living in harmony with the planet.  One of the main ways I have figured out to live in connection with the earth is to value my time outdoors and seek a meaningful relationship with the place I live in. I also do this by limiting the amount of plastic my family and I consume. 

Before I became a parent, I was highly aware of what I needed to do to live a sustainable life. I lived in the Pacific Northwest where citywide composting was the norm and in restaurants you could find a recycling bin and compostable flatware. When I started my parenting journey and left that part of the country, I had to start from scratch in my new home of Tulsa. There is a city-wide recycling center and environmental/sustainable focused organizations here but not much else in terms of large scale public engagement around environmental issues.

By virtue of being a parent I had to sacrifice some of my beliefs around living sustainably. For instance I set out to use cloth diapers but soon found that our daughter could easily get diaper rash if left in a cloth diaper too long. We kept her in cloth diapers during the day but had to compromise with disposables at night to keep her from flaring up in a rash every day. I also used to be a bus and bike commuter, which I could still do with children, but would be much harder for me with our spread out and busy family lifestyle, so I made the sacrifice of driving a car each day.

Though I have had to sacrifice some of my eco-lifestyle choices in becoming a parent I realized there is still a lot I can do for the planet and live in a balanced way with my families and my needs. This is where planning ahead will save you. 

My Parent tool kit for reducing your carbon footprint when buying food at the store or restaurant:

By keeping a few items handy in your car or in your backpack it will become a habit to always have them available whenever it is time to get groceries or order take out. These steps require you to spend a little money upfront but will ultimately save you a ton of money in the long run and help the planet, a win, win. 

Empty Tupperware, a few sizes:

Every time you go out to a restaurant or order take out nine times out of ten it will come in a Styrofoam container. This Styrofoam will live on in our landfills for the next 500 years or more. To avoid using Styrofoam use your empty Tupperware instead. Ask that your leftovers are put into the container and or your meal is made in the container. If it is clean, most places will use your container. If you are dining in and they give you a Styrofoam plate tell management you would rather they didn’t use this material anymore. Use your power as a concerned citizen to spread the word that there are much better options for plates then Styrofoam.

A water bottle, thermos and re-usable straws:

I recommend a thermos because these can hold both hot and cold liquid and keep your drink at the temp you want year round. As a person that is often working outside in the heat and cold I cannot live without a thermos! A lot of water bottle companies these days have thermos options in sleek designs.

A set of at least three, sturdy, cloth shopping bags:

These bags can eliminate the use of tons of plastic. I take my bags in every store I go to, some clerks don’t know how to pack them, so I get to show them, it’s a way for us all to learn how to use less plastic. 

A set of re-usable produce sized bags and or bags from products you already bought and twist ties:

The reusable produce bags can be found in health food stores for purchase or buying them online. You can also just save the bags and twist ties from the bread you buy and re-use them to purchase grains, nuts, cereal etc. from bulk bins or put produce in them. Seeing each bag you purchase as a precise object makes you really aware of how much plastic you are consuming and take note of your impact on our planet as a consumer.

These are some of the easiest steps we can take to change our habits as consumers and live a personal green life style. The bigger picture is changing the way our systems are in place now that creates these harmful materials. In other cities I have lived there has been a ban on the plastic bag. Starting a campaign like this is another way to help make our city greener, eliminating the problem in the first place, will make the biggest impact. 

This was originally printed for Tulsa Kids Magazine August 2018

Standing Up Against Hate

I have been disheartened, disenchanted and stuck in the mud this last week. I realized how much of a bubble I live in and how much denial I was in that people would honestly elect Donald Trump. My heart hurts that bigots are smearing their hate in Trumps name feeling like they have won. The mean streak this week in the USA is sickening. We are stuck in a new world where the only answer is action. I wanted the transition of power to be more gentle than this but it’s not going to be and not settling for hate is the new mentality I have to embrace. Of course this is not a new mentality. As a woman raised in a sexist society I have had to take this approach to life over and over again. In fact Trump winning only puts into perspective all the times I have felt like the bully won. His rise to power reminded me of all the times I saw an unqualified male leader take dominance in my life and make things hard for me. After crying a bunch about these early experiences I was able to get a clearer perspective on the current situation. My biggest skill in this new world is being a good listener and showing up. 

I am a mother of two young children. I parent them solo a lot of the time and most evenings. I have to make focused decisions on the right kind of actions and demonstrations to take for them too. I will have to notice, which move will be about love, strength, and caring versus anger, dejection and fighting. I also have to be a steadfast beam of hopeful light in this dark and divisive sea. I already feel like I have said to too much in front of them. I will have to apologize a lot in the coming months as my emotions run towards the same hate I am preaching against. The people that voted for Trump are not the problem. These people actually want change as much as I do. I just want to go about it in a different way. I want a world where we live in harmony with nature, where money is not at the center of our universe and instead caring for each other and the planet are the most important things.

I got a bee in my bonnet last week. I was ready to take action. A friend sent me a Facebook message. The event was a chance to show solidarity to our Muslim neighbors. The organization CAIR Oklahoma was having a gala honoring Muslim Americans. The task was to welcome them to the event. We wanted to say we don't believe in Trump's agenda and we care about you and will stand up to people that throw hate in your direction.

The second I walked down the escalator to the event center with my two lovely daughters in my arms and by my side, tears came into my eyes. The hallway was lined with 100's of people from all walks of life spreading their message of love. These folks were just like me, sickened by the week’s events and trying to do something. 

I decided the kids could be a little extra tired that night. I would go and see how peaceful it was and leave if I felt like the children or I were in any danger. I decided it was ok for my back to hurt holding my 17 month old in a front carrier standing the whole time. I called my friends ahead of time and made sure they were going with their kids so Sweetpea would have others to play with. I decided that doing something was a lot better then hiding out in my home, overdosing on social media, sugar and fear.

It made a difference. Sometimes you do something and it’s hard to tell what difference you made. This can lead to discouragement and makes it hard to do more things. This event showed me how huge this was for this group of people. Holding signs stating  "Your voice is heard," "We welcome you as neighbors and friends" and "We will not let them target you." I watched as the attendees of the event walked up and down the hallway, glowing with tears in their eyes. I was hugged; people kissed my children and thanked them and me for being there. Some attendees walked down the hall with their phones on video broadcasting our action for all their community to see. They walked down the tunnel of love and respect we made for them. I was over come with emotion. Spreading love is the real power. Standing by people's side that are targeted with oppression, saying I will not stand for this is how we will get our message across.

We are bigger then the haters in this country right now. We are better equipped and more organized than we ever have been before. Americans don't want Trump, they want change and we on the left are now charged with the task of insuring that change is for the better. I am a mostly white European decent middle class female; other than sexism I could easily hide from the abuse. I am choosing not to. This is a choice I will have to make regularly these days. I will not stay silent.  Trump is not my president; he never will be.

Connecting to the Natural World

My sensual relationship with the natural world all began in a small yard, in an urban neighborhood, in a dirty New England city.  I think most young people feel a call to the wild from the domesticated edges of the nature that surrounds them. City parks and the wild un-kept fringes of these places hold mystery and sensual nature experience. A tree with climbable branches, a little danger and daring, a branch of a bush that hangs down and creates a perfect reading nook, these are the things that stimulate a relationship with nature.

As a child I was an amateur naturalist. In my urban New England town I would collect bags full of horse chestnuts and crab apples. I explored the giant woodpile my parents had delivered to our driveway each spring. We would spend the summer piling the logs into neat rows on the front porch preparing for long, cold winters. Each log was a microhabitat for bug life. I would often catch salamanders in my hands and examine all the squiggly bugs hiding under a log at the bottom of the pile. My brothers and I would play king of the mountain and climb to the top of the woodpile or hide buried among the logs on the far side of it. 

In my little urban yard I spent a lot of time hiding under the eaves of lilac bushes reading Shel Silverstein poetry. I would write in my journal under a rose bush in the semi-wild strand between our property and our neighbor’s property. The huge Norwegian maple tree in the corner of our yard was a dear friend of mine. I would gather her leaves into piles in the fall and try and kick the piles down while swinging on our play set. I picked raspberries in the far corner of the yard and marveled over the mystery of a hidden quince that flowered each spring and produced little sour fruit I did not know what to do with.

One arbor day I was given a pine sapling and planted it next to the hemlock in our yard. I planted it in the shade of the big hemlock and it soon died. I was discouraged not knowing how to properly plant the tree so it would survive. Another year, in the front yard, my mother had me plant corn seeds and before long our corn stalks reached their arms to the heavens with yummy large cobs to eat all summer. I became a corn maiden.

As a grown up and mother in my Mid South little city I use the nature in my back yard as a contemplative space for myself. I do a "Sit Spot" in a corner of the yard twice a week. For 20 minutes I sit in that spot and watch as the life of my back yard animates before me. I have never felt bored doing this. There is so much to see, listen to, and understand. I now long for my sit spot session. It is my quiet time to take in all that surrounds me. Getting to know one place, one habitat, has taught me to fall in love with where I live. It helps me to be more focused when I come back to my home afterward and step back into the role of parent. It also helps me to remember how important it is to spend time outside with my kids.

Children approach nature differently from adults. In my adult lens I want to preserve nature, to examine it without the influence of my touch. A child wants to get up in nature, feel it, pick it, prod and poke it. If we don't give them a chance to do this, they lose interest. Although I know about these differences, they can be hard to stomach. I hate it when Sweetpea picks flowers from our front yard bush. I find them piled on the console table, presents for me that are forgotten soon after the picking. I realize that in her picking she is getting to know the plant, she is touching and ripping, smelling and feeling all the essence the plant has to offer. If she just looked at the plant with her eyes she would soon tire of it. Unless I sat with her and encouraged her to look deeper, she would forget the plant. The act of taking from the plant helps her to build a relationship with it. She also helps me trim this bush in the spring. When new shoots threaten to take over the front porch. We get to hack them down together. We have a delightful scented pile of brush to play with for the next few weeks. These branches could become fairy crowns, birds’ nests, or the woven mat of a roof for an earthen shelter. 
The possibilities are endless for a pile of sticks covered in leaf and blossom. 

I have learned as an adult there is a whole category of intelligence called nature intelligence. When I have called myself a plant person I did not realize I really had the brain for it. I soak up nature knowledge and it comes easily to me. I hear a plant name and know it by heart almost immediately. I never saw this part of myself as a career path, I always saw this talent as just a part of me. Being a plant person was a piece of who I was, but not a calling. As the world shifts and changes, our climate becomes more unpredictable. Food is becoming more expensive and insecure and disconnect from the place a person lives is more prevalent. I am starting to see how much plant knowledge and earth connection is needed. My interest in birds, plants and the day-to-day wildlife is something a lot of people don't have and need help finding.

I am now seeing it as my mission to teach the skills of sustainability. I am bringing nature knowledge to young people. I am teaching adults to remember what having a sensual connection with nature is by learning about the environment that is right in front of them. I believe when people know the nature that surrounds them they care more and are more likely to make choices that keep the earth in mind. People feel Connected to the beautiful and intricate web of life starting in their backyards.

Nature Knowledge all starts in our daily environment. This knowledge is potent, it is believing we have influence and are connected to all living things. If we realize this, we give power to the earth and we give voice to the policies we want to see in place. We must appreciate the importance of being present with the beauty of our own little worlds and make sure it survives for generations to come.