You know you have a toddler when

1. When you go into the bathroom you trip over small wooden toys and books your baby has dragged in there earlier in the day while you were trying to go to the bathroom and keep her from grabbing the toilet brush and putting it in her mouth.
2. You can't seem to find your sunglasses, lip balm, keys, one of your sweet babies shoes and figure out she's been "playing with them" aka hiding them in places you would never think to look or believe she could get to like the way back crevices of the sofa.
3. Her new favorite activity is playfully shaking her head back and forth in the no gesture and giggling with mirth when she does it.
4. Any high surface in your house is littered with the contraband that you swiped from your baby ending in tear jerking screams of rage when you tell her she can't put the sharp pointy or soapy poison thing in her mouth.
5. The high surfaces are also covered in paperwork you do not want to have eaten, her shoes, your shoes, sun block and books with rippable covers.
6. RIP morning nap, the time when you used to get all your writing done and clean the house.
7. Helpful baby time means big mess adult time that you take deep breaths and try to relax as she disassembles the whole contents of the dirty dishes in the washing machine. She is really helpful when we have to take the clean dishes out.
8. You figure out how to make every errand into a game and every transition into a song.
9. You watch those sweet baby legs gallop across the playground and remember just a few months ago she was crawling across the same turf.
10. You start to enjoy multiple full nights of sleep.

On Being A Young Adult Parent

We eat a lot of beans, vegetables and eggs. We pay for our groceries in cash that has been set aside each month for the food budget. We walk to the grocery store and load up the bottom of the stroller with our food. Almost all of my baby’s toys were gifts or donations from friends. Most of our books come from the library. Most of our entertainment comes from play dates, music, Netflix, free adventures around town and cooking. Recently, for fun, we took the bus downtown for a day’s adventure of walking around and seeing a new angle of our city home.

When I go to the park I sometimes feel more like the nanny then my babies mother. Most of the nannies are blithe, young adult women or older looking Latina women, with an occasional hip looking manny thrown in for good measure. The parents on the other hand, mostly look older, adulty, pale lip-gloss and clothes that don't look like they came from the thrift store. Some of them look more crunchy, Chaco sandals and tank tops instead of Jcrew and LV bags, but it seems like most parents have caught onto the adult, "I'm in charge look," that I don't have yet.

Daddy and I break the mold we see around us, we don't own a house, have two careers, two cars and a whole list of needs to support this life style. Almost everything we own is used. I wear the same clothes most days and Sweetpea's pants become caprice and her onesies become tuck in shirts as she grows. It would be nice to be able to get new clothes and have more room in the budget for decadence, but I am noticing we don’t really need that stuff to be happy and comfortable. On weekends we go to the park or go swimming, we have an open lifestyle that is not scheduled to the bone, leaving more time for us to just be present with our daughter and each other.

One of my goals in parenting is to connect my daughter to the turning of the seasons. I can name the trees in our neighborhood and most of the birds, I am teaching her these things on our daily strolls. I want her to have a deep sensual connection with the place she lives, to know her neighbors and what colors the lizard is that lives behind our potted tomato plants. I already see how she is getting a chance to do this when she toddles around the playground scooping stones into her shovel, examining ghouls from the pecan tree and scrambling up the slippery slides.

I like that my baby daddy is 27 and I am 30. We get to be young and parents and figure out our identities and careers while parenting. Parenting does not write the script of our life, it dances along side our visions and dreams.

Though some of the things about our lifestyle now will shift in the near future, its nice to notice the benefits of being a younger parent. I feel that I have a better understanding of what my daughter is going through because I remember going though it too. I can better advocate for her because of this. Sense our lives are not completely set in stone right now, we get to dream big about the things we want for ourselves as individuals and as a family. Our daughter gets to watch us figure out how to lead an adult life instead of just seeing that everything is already set up.

I know that most mothers in this world and most mothers in the US are a lot younger then I when I started parenting. I also know that most people's norm is to not have two incomes, a house one owns and two cars, but this is a lot of what I see, and a lot of what I grew up around. My mom waited till 34 to have me, I was the youngest and everything was pretty much set in stone by the time I was born. This is the paradigm I thought I would mimic and my older brother seems to be mimicking. You have it all "figured out" before you have a child. We have not gone down that path and it worries our parents. We might never have it all "figured out" in this post-industrial world and I am excited to see what potential comes from the paradigm that we are creating.

Austin Fall, A Four Seasons Perspective

This is my first fall in a place that does not seem to have four seasons. Austin tends toward the south of the equator weather continuum that has a wet and dry season, a warm and hot season. Still the city likes to dress itself in the fall colors of New England like all other American cities across the nation. September 1st in 100 degree heat the front of the grocery store was loaded up with pumpkins and gourds of all shapes and sizes. A tease as summer has continued into October now. I wonder why the rest of the nation wants to copy New England seasonal traditions? Perhaps it is because that is where the colonizing began?

I long for sweater weather, pumpkin carving the harvest festivals and fresh apple cider of my younger life in WA and CT. Austin has other plans for my family and me. It's exciting to be able to go out in the middle of the afternoon without feeling like you are melting, a celebration when hoodies and jeans are in order for early mornings at the park. We are slowly, at a snails pace, creeping out of summer and into what this climate calls the fall. What would a regional fall actually look like? In some ways it’s like a second spring, rain hopefully, a second harvest of all vegetables. At the farmers market we can get eggplant, tomatoes, arugula, all veggies I associate with deep summer now making a regular appearance in October. A sagey looking plant is starting to bloom purple fragrant flowers along with the forever-blooming crepe myrtle. We start to consider camping now; in WA I would be putting away the camping equipment till next spring.

It is a physical and mental adjustment moving to a new climate. I associate this weather with travel to far-flung destinations, Brasil and Ecuador especially, except now I am still in the states. I was ready for the adventure moving here and feeling the sun touch my skin each day. In my heart I am starting to claim gnarled live oak trees and limestone creek beds as a part of me. Still when I prey images of the Northwest are my grounding place. Rosemary covered in raindrops, gathering waters of the Puget Sound, Mount Rainer all pink at sunset and deep ancient wilderness in the North Cascades.

I want to see a regional Christmas celebration here that does not involve a decorated pine tree and snowy home all dolled up Norman Rockwell style. My guess is the celebration would mimic Mexico more. I want to learn this and apply it to our festivities this year. I have heard stories of Christmas trees and fake snow in Southern California and am starting to understand why people try to make the illusion now that I live here.

I am not sure where we will end up raising Sweetpea but for now I wonder if she will have memories of this weather, will it coat her childhood the way my New England home did? Will she have memories of swimming everyday and not leaving the house between 2-6pm all summer long? Austin has a surprise around every corner for us. I look forward to the next few months and seeing how different it will be to have a sunny winter.