I have been disheartened,
disenchanted and stuck in the mud this last week. I realized how much of a
bubble I live in and how much denial I was in that people would honestly elect
Donald Trump. My heart hurts that bigots are smearing their hate in Trumps name
feeling like they have won. The mean streak this week in the USA is sickening.
We are stuck in a new world where the only answer is action. I wanted the
transition of power to be more gentle than this but it’s not going to be and
not settling for hate is the new mentality I have to embrace. Of course this is
not a new mentality. As a woman raised in a sexist society I have had to take
this approach to life over and over again. In fact Trump winning only puts into
perspective all the times I have felt like the bully won. His rise to power
reminded me of all the times I saw an unqualified male leader take dominance in
my life and make things hard for me. After crying a bunch about these early
experiences I was able to get a clearer perspective on the current situation.
My biggest skill in this new world is being a good listener and showing
up.
I am a mother of two young children.
I parent them solo a lot of the time and most evenings. I have to make focused
decisions on the right kind of actions and demonstrations to take for them too.
I will have to notice, which move will be about love, strength, and
caring versus anger, dejection and fighting. I also have to be a steadfast
beam of hopeful light in this dark and divisive sea. I already feel like I have
said to too much in front of them. I will have to
apologize a lot in the coming months as my emotions run towards the same hate I
am preaching against. The people that voted for Trump are not the problem.
These people actually want change as much as I do. I just want to go about it
in a different way. I want a world where we live in harmony with nature, where
money is not at the center of our universe and instead caring for each other
and the planet are the most important things.
I got a bee in my bonnet last
week. I was ready to take action. A friend sent me a Facebook message. The
event was a chance to show solidarity to our Muslim neighbors. The organization
CAIR Oklahoma was having a gala honoring Muslim Americans. The task was to
welcome them to the event. We wanted to say we don't believe in Trump's agenda
and we care about you and will stand up to people that throw hate in your
direction.
The second I walked down the
escalator to the event center with my two lovely daughters in my arms and by my
side, tears came into my eyes. The hallway was lined with 100's of people from
all walks of life spreading their message of love. These folks were just like
me, sickened by the week’s events and trying to do something.
I
decided the kids could be a little extra tired that night. I would go and see
how peaceful it was and leave if I felt like the children or I were in any
danger. I decided it was ok for my back to hurt holding my 17 month old in a
front carrier standing the whole time. I called my friends ahead of time and
made sure they were going with their kids so Sweetpea would have others to play
with. I decided that doing something was a lot better then hiding out in my
home, overdosing on social media, sugar and fear.
It made a difference. Sometimes you
do something and it’s hard to tell what difference you made. This can lead to
discouragement and makes it hard to do more things. This event showed me how
huge this was for this group of people. Holding signs stating "Your
voice is heard," "We welcome you as neighbors and friends" and
"We will not let them target you." I watched as the attendees of the
event walked up and down the hallway, glowing with tears in their eyes. I was
hugged; people kissed my children and thanked them and me for being there. Some
attendees walked down the hall with their phones on video broadcasting our
action for all their community to see. They walked down the tunnel of love and
respect we made for them. I was over come with emotion. Spreading love is the
real power. Standing by people's side that are targeted with oppression, saying
I will not stand for this is how we will get our message across.
We are bigger then the haters in
this country right now. We are better equipped and more organized than we ever
have been before. Americans don't want Trump, they want change and we on the
left are now charged with the task of insuring that change is for the better. I
am a mostly white European decent middle class female; other than sexism I
could easily hide from the abuse. I am choosing not to. This is a choice I will
have to make regularly these days. I will not stay silent. Trump is not
my president; he never will be.
