The power of "Why?"

Through searching, magnetic eyes I can see the question being formed. Her lips become a perfect pucker ready for it to come forth, "Why Mama?" The first why is mostly easy, a simple description of my views on the subject at hand. The second why goes a little bit deeper, explaining with more depth how something works. By the third why I do not have an easy answer, I imagine this is where most parents feel the urge to give up, I definitely have thought like that. Weird, archaic phrases flash before my mind like "Cuz I said so." This especially happens if I am in the middle of doing something else that requires my attention, which is about 80% of the time when the series "Why?" questions come up.

I don't act on my urge to shut off her questioning. I take a deep breath and consider the third why. This usually means explaining a subtle, adult, societal norm that she does not understand yet. Breaking it down to a level she can understand without putting a lot of judgment or feelings on it. Its hard to explain this stuff, without to much detail, just enough to guide her understanding and make associations without leading her into my opinion on it. Sweetpea gets a lot of my opinion on stuff just by listening to me talk to daddy, out friends and the people around us. When the "Why?" questioning comes up I try to answer it directly not just through my personal lens.

This evening the why took the form of why do people have belly buttons? My first answer was that we all used to get food in our bodies through our tummies when we were inside our mama’s bellies. I pause there and see if that satisfies the curiosity. With an inquiring glint in her eye she continues, "Why we need to get food from our belly button in our mamas tummy?" "Well, I continue, we have a tube in the womb that makes the food good for tiny babies to eat. When the baby comes out it does not need the tube anymore." "Because the baby gets nana's! (Our word for breast feeding)" she chimes in. "Yes, so the doctor or midwife cuts off the tube and what we have left is a belly button."

To further explain my point I take out her baby book and show her a picture of her taking her first bath. She has a piece of plastic holding her cut tube/belly button in place. She is fascinated by the picture and wants to know every detail of why the baby has to wear ankle bracelets and why her belly button has a bracelet too? I explain that when you are at the hospital you have to wear a bracelet that says your name so they know where you belong. My mind is ticking away as I explain this I am asking myself why the hospital needs this info at all times? why are we so misplaceable in a hospital? I want to do more research on when the bracelet thing got started. I think of all this but do not say much of anything else.  The why's have stopped for now, we have moved on to a game involving a bunny rabbit swimming around in my tummy and entering through my belly button.

I love my kids "whys?" They get me to think and really evaluate why I do things, it reminds me to not take knowledge for granted. I get to watch her brain work and look at things afresh. I also hate my kids "whys", they throw injustice in my face and cause me to examine things I sometimes would like not too. Sometimes I desire to just have an experience and not have to explain all of what’s going on. Ultimately I am getting better at answering her questions. Daddy and I like to listen to each other explain things and pick up cues from each other on what angle to approach the next, "Why?"