A Tale Of Dry Nights

No one told me going into this parenting thing that my daughter would still be struggling with having dry nights at 3 1/2 years old. We mastered dry days by 2 1/2. Dry nights have been a different story. On her 3rd birthday her dad and her decided there was no need for diapers at night. So we did it. We took the plunge and tried having her go without diapers completely, trusting she would let us know if she needed to go.

6 months later and I think now we are just getting the hang of it, knock on wood. This could be the biggest jinx post I have ever written. Sweetpea is consistently having every night dry for the past 3 weeks. We have tried everything. We have consulted all the parents we have known, we read all the books about it and talked to a doctor. Everyone told us this was normal. I wondered why I had never heard of it before. Years of being a nanny and I never noticed how long it took to get the night diapers out of the picture.

The thing is Sweetpea is a deep sleeper and we nursed to sleep when she was young. She really wants a drink before bed, after nursing we switched to a bottle of milk before bed, then water. She associated going to bed with drinking beverage.  I personally need to get up in the night if I consume tea before bed, I get it, your bladder can only hold so much. So she needed to go. At first it was only sometimes she would wet the bed, then it was every other night for months. It would seem like we were on an up curve, 2 weeks here and there then she would plummet back down to every two nights. Meanwhile I was doing a ton of laundry.

I had friends who said it was completely normal to have kids up to 5 years old in pull-ups. We were actually the only people in our friend circle who were even trying at 3 years old to take away night diapers. They all agreed they were too young at this age to be able to hold it all night long. It could be this was true. Though we had another friend I didn't see often who's son stopped having any accidents at 2 1/2. They just stopped putting diapers on him and he was done, end of story.

Daddy was fierce about sticking to our guns, rarely is he fierce about any parenting issue so I decided to side with him, as the laundry continued piling up. And I, being home more, was doing more of it I decided we needed a big change.

First we made a rule, no more liquid before bed. This was a struggle.  We got it down to two sips of water after she brushed teeth, which seemed to work as a compromise.

Second, I started a sticker chart. Just in case wetting the bed might be psychological I thought some incentive might help. Every dry night she got a sticker, two in a row she got a little plastic gem, 3 dry nights got a candy and 7 dry nights got a trip to Chuck E Cheese. I never thought of myself as a parent that might have this kind of reward system, but I was feeling desperate and if I have learned anything from parenting, you got to try all manner of ways of doing things and see which one works. She seemed to like all the rewards but it never added up to having dry nights on a consistent basis.

Lastly, we woke her up to pee a few hours after she goes to sleep. Friends had told us they woke there kid up in the middle of the night to pee, this seemed to daunting for us, so we stuck to 2 hours after she went to sleep, typically right before we went to bed. This worked for a while, and then it started being a struggle. If we didn't get her up right at 2 hours she would pee the bed, also she would fight us to get up and go, after tons of screaming and crying, plus 15 minutes to get her back down and calm, I could see that this strategy was not working.

This is when I decided to research the affects of reintroducing pull-up diapers after 6 months of none. Daddy really fought me on this, he was sure it would break her confidence and he felt she was just on her way to learning. He had more patience and less laundry doing then I. I found parenting forums all about this subject. I especially loved this one California moms list serv that had all kinds of opinions but seemed to all go with trust your gut and don't worry about harmful long term affects.

With all this research and strategy under my belt I just decided to go for it. We went to Target and grabbed a pair of 4t-5t pull-ups with flowers. I explained to Sweetpea these were only temporary, that would help her to remember to wake up and pee in the potty. She went along with it. Her dad was not happy but after my research was willing to try. And the thing is they worked!

Miracle of miracles, once she felt that squishy, diapery, plastic texture between her legs she was not happy. She didn't want to wear them. I set the rule that once she could go a full 3 days with them on and stay dry she did not need to wear them anymore. The next week we went on a trip. The struggle to put them on at night intensified, so after having her pee right before bed, I would put her to sleep. I would then sneak in an hour later and put a pull up on her. She was so deep asleep she did not wake up. Some magic made it so she did not pee the bed or the pull-up the whole 5-day trip.

When we got back home she reverted back a little and then started getting mad that she woke up with a pull up on. She told us not to put them on her at all. We listened, one night I just had her pee before bed. Then a few hours later I went to bed, no secret pull-ups, no waking her up to pee. When we woke up that morning she had a dry night! Going back to pull ups actually worked for us!

As I look back at all we did I am thinking, geez, parents are super heroes. We will do anything to make life run smoothly, we have to be always thinking, always strategizing, always being hopeful for a change of events. What a creative and intense job!

Now, 3 weeks later she has consistently had dry nights. Maybe our friends were right, maybe her body was finally old enough to wait it out through the night. I still go into her room and ask if she wants to try 2 hours after she goes to sleep. She always turns me down. We shall see what the next manifestation of this is. Now I know I am ready to take on the challenge.